


A letter to you.

by BenjiTyler



Series: P.s I love you. [7]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 18:56:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2161452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenjiTyler/pseuds/BenjiTyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickeys thoughts of the past year since he left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A letter to you.

**Author's Note:**

> 7th in the p.s i love you series.   
> Mickeys POV.   
> Its been a year.   
> I'm getting closer to Ian finding him guys. Like really close.

It’s been a couple months that Mickey's been here and every single damn day he thinks about Ian. He knows Ian probably pissed at him for leaving. He knows he’ll never be forgiven for leaving, maybe one day he’ll explain. Maybe.

 

**

  
  


Mickey got a job at a garage his second week there. He's still doing pretty good. The guys he works with aren't total dicks, so thats a plus. He hasn't told them he's gay but he figures he never will, he’ll never be able to be with anyone but Ian. Ian stole his heart years ago, and he's never getting it back. But he doesn't want it back, its in good hands.

 

Sometimes he cries himself to sleep because he misses Ian so much. No, that doesn't make him a pussy, fuck you.

 

Sometimes he sees a flash of red hairs and he thinks its Ian. It never is. He usually drinks until he blacks out when that happens.

 

**

 

Its been 8 months. He feels so lonely. But he doesn't try to fuck other guys . He still can't. He's tried to convince himself that it was okay because he’ll never love them like he loves Ian. He’ll never see Ian again so why not?

He tried.

He couldn't even get it up when he saw an attractive guy.

Well actually no one looks attractive much to him anymore.

They aren't tall, ginger and gangly. Thats all he wants but its not just that. He wants Ian.

Fuck maybe he shouldn't have left.

 

**

 

He's been thinking about going back.

 

**

 

He knows its a bad idea. Instead he stays in, drinks, watches movies and stays lonely.

Its for the best. He knows it.

Doesn't meant it doesn't hurt any less.

 

**

 

In a week it’ll be exactly a year.

A year since he left.

A year since Ian's started hating him.

A year since his ‘new’ life started.

A year since he started to hate himself more and more.

A year since he started crying himself to sleep most nights.

Its still hard. So fucking hard.

He hates it. But he can’t really do much about it, can he?

 

**

 

Later that night he decides to write Ian a letter explaining everything.

In a way it feels refreshing.

In another way he wants to tear it up and never send it.

 

He writes it.

And if he spends 20 minutes staring at different stamps- a plain one and an old man of the mountain one- its no ones fucking business.

If he chooses the latter than its his fucking choice.

If he sort-of-maybe wants Ian to notice the stamp and come and find him thats on him.

 

**

 

He mails it out the next day.

Guess he’ll find out if Ian notices soon enough, won't he?

 

 


End file.
